18-Month-Old Not Settling at Nursery? What’s Normal and How to Help

Nook Nursery

Starting nursery is a big milestone — not just for children, but for parents too. If your 18-month-old is struggling to settle, becoming upset at drop-off, or finding it hard to engage during the day, it can feel worrying.

The most important thing to know is this:

It’s very common — and in most cases, completely normal.

At this age, children are going through a key stage of emotional development, and what you’re seeing is often a sign of a strong, healthy attachment rather than a problem.

Why is my 18-month-old not settling at nursery?

Around 12–18 months, many children experience a peak in separation anxiety (the National Childbirth Trust has a helpful guide on this). This is when they become more aware that you can leave — but don’t yet fully understand that you will always come back.

At the same time:

Their routines are changing
They’re adjusting to a new environment
They’re building trust with new adults

So if your toddler is crying at drop-off or seeming unsettled, it’s usually part of this adjustment process.

Is it normal for a toddler to cry when settling into nursery?

When children are settling into nursery, it’s completely normal to see a range of behaviours as they adjust to a new environment.

Crying or clinging at drop-off

Wanting extra comfort from staff
Taking time to engage in activities
Being more tired than usual

For many children, this improves gradually over 2–4 weeks, although for some it can take a little longer.

What’s important is not whether they cry at drop-off — but how they are supported and how they recover during the day.

How long does it take a toddler to settle at nursery?

This is one of the most common questions parents ask — and understandably so.

For most toddlers, settling into nursery takes around 2 to 4 weeks. During this time, it’s normal to see some tears at drop-off, hesitation in new situations, and a gradual increase in confidence.

However, every child is different.

Some children may settle within a few days, while others — particularly around 18 months when separation anxiety can peak — may take a little longer to feel fully comfortable.

What’s important is not that your child never becomes upset, but that:

They are able to calm with support from staff
They begin to engage in play and activities
They start to build a bond with their key person

If you’re seeing small signs of progress — even if it’s just shorter periods of upset or more interest in their surroundings — this usually means your child is moving in the right direction.

A good nursery will keep you updated throughout this process and work with you to adjust the settling-in approach if needed.

When should I be concerned about my child settling at nursery?

While some upset is expected, it’s worth having a closer look if:

Your child remains distressed for long periods during the day
They are not beginning to form a bond with a key person
There is little improvement after several weeks
Communication from the nursery is limited or unclear

A good nursery will work closely with you, keeping you informed and adjusting the approach if needed.

How can I help my toddler settle at nursery?

Toddler engaging in small world play at nursery with natural materials

There are a few simple, effective ways to support your child through this transition:

Keep drop-offs calm and consistent

A short, confident goodbye helps your child feel secure. Long or uncertain goodbyes can sometimes increase anxiety.

Create a predictable routine

Children feel safer when they know what to expect. Try to keep mornings consistent where possible.

Use a comfort item

A familiar object from home — like a soft toy or blanket — can provide reassurance.

Talk positively about nursery

Even if you’re feeling unsure, try to keep language positive and reassuring.

Trust the process

It can be difficult, but most children do settle with time, consistency, and support.

What should a nursery be doing to help a toddler settle?

Settling in isn’t something parents should manage alone — it’s a shared process.

At a supportive nursery, you should expect:

A gradual settling-in approach, tailored to your child
A consistent key person building a strong bond
Regular updates on how your child is getting on
A calm, nurturing environment where children feel secure

At The Nook Nursery, we take a gentle, child-led approach to settling in. We understand that every child is different, and we work closely with families to make the transition as smooth and reassuring as possible. You can read more about how we keep children safe at nursery and the steps we take to support every child’s wellbeing.

A final reassurance: your toddler will settle at nursery

If your 18-month-old is not settling at nursery straight away, it doesn’t mean something is wrong.

In fact, it often means the opposite — that your child has formed a strong attachment and is learning to navigate a new environment.

With the right support, most children grow in confidence quickly and begin to enjoy their time at nursery.

Thinking about nursery places in Leyton?

If you’d like to learn more about how we support children through the settling-in process, you can read more about our settling-in approach and how we gently support each child at their own pace.

If you’re still exploring your options, our guide to choosing the right nursery may also help you feel more confident in your decision.

If you’re based in Leyton or near Walthamstow, and thinking about nursery options, we’d love to welcome you for a visit – you can experience the calm, nurturing environment we’ve created for children and families.